Are you constantly worried or anxious about your relationship? Do you tend to overthink even when things are going well? Discover how to handle relationship anxiety and build a happy and lasting bond with these 5 tips from our Baltimore therapists.
It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious at some point in a relationship. However, relationship anxiety becomes a problem when it’s recurrent and extreme enough that it prevents your relationship from flourishing, or even taking off.
Even if your relationship is thriving with someone you love and everything seems great, you might still find yourself constantly questioning: “Does this person really love me?”, “Is this right for me?”, “’Will things last?’”
Recognizing the signs and causes, and learning how to handle relationship anxiety, can ease the emotional strain and improve your connection.
What is Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety is the persistent worry, insecurity, and doubt regarding your relationship or compatibility with a partner. That anxiety can arise from the fear of experiencing a breakup or being vulnerable again due to previous trauma, such as infidelity or a break of trust.
If you often find yourself feeling stressed, irritable, and insecure, you may be experiencing relationship anxiety. This can manifest as constantly overthinking and doubting your partner, or experiencing difficulty in overcoming your concerns.
Over time, constant worrying about the relationship can also affect the quality of love and intimacy with your partner. In some cases, experiencing those thoughts and feelings within the relationship can result in the most feared outcome — a rupture.
Understanding the triggers and signs of anxiety in a relationship is the first step to learning how to handle it and work toward a balanced and resilient relationship.
Where Does Relationship Anxiety Come From?
Although there is no unique cause for relationship anxiety, it can be helpful to think about what’s behind your insecurities. Here are a few common reasons that might be at play:
Attachment Style
The relationship with your parents or caregivers when growing up has a great impact on your relationships as an adult. If your needs of love and affection were met inconsistently or if they were conditional to the way you behave, you might have developed an insecure attachment style.
This can lead you to worry about the security of your relationships and seek constant reassurance from your partner. However, you should know that an insecure attachment style doesn’t necessarily mean you will be stuck in a forever loop of relationship anxiety. You can take steps to overcome it!
Past Experiences
Previous hurts, memories of infidelity, and deception can continue to affect you, even if you think you’ve mostly gotten over them. Due to this, you might have difficulty rebuilding trust with your partner, or you might experience triggers that bring you back to that place of pain and mistrust, even in a new relationship.
Low Self-Esteem
Living with a poor sense of self-worth can contribute to relationship anxiety. Research suggests that people who struggle with lower self-esteem are more likely to doubt the authenticity of their partner’s feelings and undervalue the perception others have of them.
General Anxiety
A tendency for general anxiety can also factor into relationship anxiety. If you often find yourself feeling worried or anxious, overthinking your decisions, and struggling with negative thoughts, you will probably do exactly the same about your relationship.
5 Tips to Help You Handle Relationship Anxiety from Our Baltimore Therapists
While it may seem difficult right now, overcoming relationship anxiety is possible — but it will take time and commitment. Don’t know where to begin? Our Baltimore therapists are here to help! Here are a few steps to support yourself and discover how to handle relationship anxiety.
1. Understand what is triggering your anxiety
Is it fear? Low self-esteem? Lack of confidence? A past trauma? By identifying the root of your relationship anxiety and drawing connections to your past experiences, you can gain a deeper understanding of what is triggering you.
A helpful exercise is to keep a list or journal and write down the times you felt anxious about your relationship and what happened previous to it. This way, you can identify patterns that will help you better understand yourself and your feelings, and gain a new perspective on how to cope.
2. Talk about what you’re feeling
Lack of communication can harm your relationship as it increases misunderstandings. It’s important to share your worries, needs, and expectations about the future with your partner.
To address relationship anxiety, you can start by sharing with your partner what triggers your anxiety using “I” statements — focusing on how you’re feeling, rather than the actions of the other person. For example, instead of saying “You never want to spend time with me”, you can try: “I feel sad that we didn’t make time in our week to spend together”.
By being vulnerable about what you’re feeling, you are opening up the path to communication and understanding, without pointing fingers.
3. Cultivate your world outside the relationship
Every relationship can benefit from some time apart. While many couples experience an urge to spend every second together — especially at the beginning of a relationship — everyone needs their personal space outside the relationship. Remember that, by dedicating time to yourself, you’ll be bringing new energy to the relationship.
That’s why it is so important to cultivate your personal interests, hobbies, and passions — and not just the things you enjoy together. This can be achieved with regular self-care breaks, spending time with friends, and embracing practices like exercise and meditation.
4. Challenge your anxious thoughts
Not addressing your negative thoughts can backfire on you. They may intensify as you ignore them, affecting your well-being and the balance of your relationship.
When anxiety begins to grow, ask yourself: “Where is this coming from?”, “Is there a real threat or a track record that supports how I’m feeling?”, “Is this about my relationship or is this about me?”.
Questioning your anxiety can help you recognize the reasons behind these issues and work toward healthier ways to tackle them.
5. Seek help to manage anxiety
If you’re struggling to handle relationship anxiety on your own, seeking professional help can be the most effective way to learn how to manage it.
Through therapy for anxiety, you can learn how to change dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors related to yourself, your self-worth, and your relationships. Additionally, you’ll develop new tools and skills that foster harmony and mutual growth.
Remember, there is no shame in experiencing this kind of anxiety. Sometimes, the first step toward healing is acknowledging how you feel and reaching out for support.
Anxiety Treatment in Baltimore, MD
Do you feel that anxiety is getting in the way of your happiness? Are you tired of worrying about your partner’s feelings and imagining the worst scenarios over and over again? If anxiety is taking up space in your relationship, it might be harder for you and your partner to work through your issues on your own.
Our Baltimore therapists can help you understand where your fears and insecurities are coming from and develop healthier ways to cope with anxiety in your life and your relationship. Talk to us to know more, or schedule a free 15-minute consultation call.
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