You may have angry outbursts you’re not proud of, sometimes making you say or do things you didn’t really mean. Perhaps you shut down during conflicts because you feel overwhelmed. Whatever the case, it’s affecting your relationships and well-being, and you don’t know how to work on it. Here’s our recommendation to help you get started: our top 7 emotional regulation books for adults.
Key Takeaways
- Emotional regulation is the ability to manage emotions and impulses, helping maintain healthier relationships and better overall well-being.
- Emotional dysregulation can stem from life experiences or mental health conditions and may lead to harmful emotional reactions or relationship difficulties.
- Learning self-regulation skills involves developing qualities such as self-discipline, emotional stability, and flexibility.
- Books on emotional intelligence, mindfulness, parenting, and self-awareness can offer practical tools for improving emotional regulation.
- While books can help build emotional regulation skills, professional support, such as therapy or our DBT skills group, can provide deeper guidance.
Emotional regulation is an important element in maintaining healthy relationships and supporting our well-being. Unfortunately, through learned experiences or mental health conditions, it’s not always easy to control our emotions. Sometimes emotions become too intense, and it hurts not being able to keep them in check.
Emotional dysregulation can lead to several harmful behaviors or patterns that don’t just harm in the present moment. When these patterns feel like they “always” happen and you “never” know what to do about what you’re feeling, it can become overwhelming.
Aside from professional support, we want to help with a list of emotional regulation books for adults.
What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to control our own emotions and impulses, and may also be referred to as self-regulation. This skill helps keep negative feelings under control and pause before reacting.
It can involve focusing on positive things to feel happier and calmer, or reframing a difficult situation to reduce anxiety or anger.
Regulating emotions stems from the understanding that you can’t avoid experiencing negative emotions; however, you can change how you respond to them.
Self-regulation exercises qualities such as:
- Self-discipline
- Emotional stability
- Persistence
- Flexibility
- Strong personal values.
Why Is Emotional Regulation So Important?
While we expect and accept that small children may struggle to keep their emotions in check, we can’t say the same for adults. As we age, we are expected to handle our emotions in socially acceptable ways.
However, as simple as it may sound, not all of us have those skills as developed as we would like. In fact, emotional dysregulation can be a component of many mental health conditions, and it’s no one’s fault.
When we fail to regulate our emotions, at any level, we may say or do things we regret. Perhaps even worse, emotional dysregulation can significantly impact our well-being and relationships. That’s why it’s so important to work on developing these skills.
Our Top 7 Emotional Regulation Books for Adults
If you’re interested in improving your ability to regulate your emotions, we’ve gathered a list of 7 emotional regulation books for adults. Even if they’re not exclusively focused on emotional regulation, they may contain elements that help strengthen self-regulation skills—and more.
We also prioritized variety so we can support the individual, the professional, or the parent—whatever suits your needs.
1. Open to Emotion
by Jennifer C. Veilleux
Open to Emotion suggests that emotions provide valuable information. It teaches the science behind emotions and evidence-based strategies for emotional regulation. Plus, it shows how emotional regulation can improve self-awareness, self-compassion, and more.
2. Emotional Intelligence 2.0
by Drs. Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves
From a more professional perspective, this book helps readers understand emotional intelligence and how to improve it through four key elements: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
3. Daring Greatly
by Dr. Brené Brown
Daring Greatly shows the importance of seeing vulnerability as a strength and embracing it rather than resisting it. In fact, vulnerability can be the foundation for meaningful connections. This book helps build emotional resilience, self-trust, and empathy.
4. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)
by Philippa Perry
Being a parent can be challenging, especially when managing your own emotions. This book teaches readers how to self-reflect without judgment—helpful for pausing before reacting—and how to communicate more clearly and empathetically.
5. Just One Thing
by Dr. Michael Mosley
Although Just One Thing focuses on evidence-based self-care habits—small practices you can incorporate into everyday life—it also offers many ways to reduce stress and anxiety. Remember, emotional regulation also involves focusing on activities that help you feel better.
6. The Practice of Not Thinking
by Ryunosuke Koike
Drawing from Zen philosophy, this book encourages mindfulness and present-moment awareness. It teaches readers to pause and give their minds a break, helping reduce overwhelming emotions and support emotional regulation.
7. A Therapeutic Journey
by Alain de Botton
A Therapeutic Journey helps readers understand why we feel and react the way we do. It supports emotional awareness, reduces overwhelm, and encourages healthy communication—especially helpful for expressing your needs when emotions feel intense.
Find Support For Emotional Regulation in Baltimore, MD
Emotional regulation books for adults can certainly help, but sometimes professional support is needed—and that’s completely valid. We offer treatment for individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, ADHD, and more.
You could also take part in our DBT Skills group therapy, where you will work directly on emotional regulation. Even when the group is closed, we encourage you to express your interest in participating.
Our Baltimore-based therapists specialize in helping people embrace their strengths and break free from negative patterns. Reach out to know more, or schedule a free 15-minute consultation here.
FAQs
What causes poor emotional regulation?
Poor emotional regulation can be caused by a combination of factors, including:
- Traumatic experiences such as abuse or neglect
- Mental health conditions (e.g., Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, ADHD, depression, or anxiety)
- Neurological factors such as neurodivergence or brain injury
- Learned patterns developed throughout life
- Chronic stress.
How do I fix my emotional dysregulation?
Aside from reading emotional regulation books for adults, addressing emotional dysregulation often involves therapy (i.e., DBT or CBT) to help change negative thought patterns, practice self-care, and develop skills such as deep breathing and mindfulness.
It can also help to practice present-moment strategies, including:
- The STOP method: Stop, Take a Breath, Observe, Practice
- Willing Hands: A specific physical posture that helps signal to your brain that it’s time to release tension and move toward acceptance.
What is an example of emotional dysregulation?
Examples of emotional dysregulation can include:
- Impulsive behaviors
- Sudden angry outbursts
- Mood swings
- Exaggerated emotional reactions
- Difficulty calming down after feeling angry
- Disproportionate fears.
- What hobbies help with emotional regulation?
To support emotional regulation, you should find hobbies that lower cortisol (the stress hormone), activate the parasympathetic system, and foster emotional balance.
Examples include:
- Journaling
- Practicing yoga and mindfulness
- Engaging in repetitive crafts, such as crocheting or knitting
- Gardening
- Creative activities such as painting or sketching
- Walking in nature
- Cooking
- Playing an instrument.
About the Author:
