Family life has undoubtedly changed during COVID-19. The pressure drops when two partners start managing life challenges and motivate one another to fight for a better tomorrow. But, for one group – singe parents, everything weighs on their shoulders, and their shoulders alone. Home, work, expenses, parenting, social life and everything in between, waits on single parents and their two hands, mind, strength and organization.
Around 80 percent of single parents are moms, and more than half of the jobs that were lost since February 2020, were occupied by women. Long story short, single moms are struggling more than many other groups of people during the pandemic.
Single moms do have a lot of strength and willpower, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t need help. If you know someone who is a single parent, please offer help. The simplest gesture can be more than enough at times.
In today’s blog-post we’ll talk about some of the most frequent struggles for single moms. Also, we’ll try to propose solutions that might help. Note that everyone is different and therapy always takes an individual approach based on the client’s specific needs. But, some broad directions can help and they might shine light on solutions you didn’t think of yourself.
Taking Care of the Home
When everything is down to you and your ability to organize the home and family life, you are automatically under pressure. With the coronavirus and all the restrictions, home life dynamics have changed. It’s not only about cooking and cleaning anymore. Now, even school, work and social life are under your roof and you’re the one that needs to manage all that.
Slow down and prioritize chores. Calm your mind and lower the expectations you put on yourself as a mother. Congratulate yourself about everything you’ve accomplished so far. Yes, some chores must be done. Your family can’t go without a meal. But what other chores have you put on your schedule? Does everything need to be done today or this week? What can be pushed down the list and wait for you to have more energy and free time?
When your kids are around the house all of the time, you can go behind them cleaning all day long, and they will still manage to make a mess. And what if they do? Their need to experience life and be authentic is more important than being neat and tidy.
Work and Financial Situation
Working from home has it perks, but it also has downsides. Yes, you might’ve gained an hour that you previously spent in commuting, but now you have to find a way to keep your kids occupied in order to put your professional hat on. The advice is more or less the same – prioritize things and see how they can be arranged for optimal functioning. Do your kids have a favorite show on TV? They found a new game they like to play? Do they have online classes? Perfect- time to get some work done.
But, what happens if you lost your job during these uncertain times? Managing work obligations during COVID is one thing, managing finances without a job during COVID is completely different. For single moms who lost their job, things are worse than ever. If you are a parent that lost the main source of income, you have to act fast.
First, what expenses can you cut off? Bring them down to minimum or find the cheapest option, for now. You and your kids might not like that, but reality is what it is. Next, turn to your savings, if you have any. See how long it can last and what you need to do in between in order to leave some of that money unspent. Next step of course, is looking for help from family, friends, or the government. Allow time for you to prioritize getting the financial help you need.
Parenting
Single moms, no matter if they have one or more children, put their offspring in front of everything else and try to dedicate most of their time and energy to them. I know that parenting comes first, but in these times, everything is mixed up and happens simultaneously. So, find a way to juggle everything and see if you can throw some parenting into everyday situations.
One thing to ask yourself is – What does my kid need most? We, as parents, try to give the best to our children, but our idea of best, might differ from what the kid actually needs. So, communication is key. Talk to your kids, explain the situation and ask them to help with what they can. That depends on the child’s age, but if you succeed in explaining everything in a way understandable for them, this situation will only strengthen your connection.
It’s not only you who wants to help your kids; your kids want to help you too.
Social Life and Communication
Having someone to understand you, show support and love, offer help or just a shoulder to cry on, is very important for a person’s wellbeing. Due to social distancing, the prime source of communication and social interaction comes from those in our household. On the positive side this is a great time for bonding, but on the other hand, may reinforce misunderstanding and intolerance for ongoing problems.
So, reach out to friends and family and connect with them. Talk to your employers and explain the situation. It’s in human nature to want to help others in need, so you can receive all kinds of support if you ask. You can also try online therapy to speak with a professional about what is on your mind.
Time for Themselves
Last, but not least is alone time. Single moms rarely get some time off from everyday life and its challenges. Therefore, they need time for themselves. Communication, here as well, can make all the difference in the world. And when I say communication, I think of communication with oneself, as well. Ten minutes before bed can be enough to deeply breath in and out, relax, and contemplate what you did well that day and reflect compassionately on what you can do better tomorrow.
You can’t be emotionally available for your family, if you aren’t emotionally available for yourself. In order to help others, you have to help yourself first. Of course, this is more easily said than done, but try.
If you do something for yourself and make yourself happy, your energy will increase and you will find motivation to continue managing everything on your plate.
Ending Words
If you are a single mom, know this – you are not alone and you can fight your way out of this situation. Ask for help, acknowledge how things are and start managing them one by one.
One of your biggest strengths is that you know you can manage things, because you have always been doing so. But, COVID brought a lot to everyone’s plate, yours included. Reach out to family, friends, employers, neighbors or anyone close to you. Whether you need financial, emotional or physical assistance; there is usually someone who is more than happy to help. Counseling for women can also do wonders for you, so now is the perfect time to get to know yourself better and start becoming even greater.
Start Women’s Counseling in Baltimore, MD
At New Connections Counseling Center, we understand how gender can influence the challenges one might face in their life. We have two counselors who specialize in counseling for women. Schedule an appointment today!
Other Services at New Connections Counseling Center in Baltimore, MD
We also offer counseling for men, and therapy for college students. New Connections Counseling Center can provide assistance with certain issues, such as anxiety or depression. Ultimately, our therapists are here to help a variety of populations with a variety of concerns.
If you are a person that knows a single mom, please reach out and offer your help. Even a small gesture can make a big difference. Contact New Connections Counseling Center if you are interested in counseling for parents today!
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